Chiang Mai

Our arrival in Chiang Mai, in the far north of Thailand, was a change to the usual tuk tuk driver melee we were used to as we were dropped off at a hotel rather than the town’s bus terminal. However it got a bit strange after that as the hotel just began to check people in as if we were contracted to stay at their accommodation. Eventually we managed to press home the concept that people may have actually pre-booked hotels elsewhere and a taxi appeared out of nowhere to take us, and many others, to their actual hotels. Chiang Mai doesn’t have taxis as such, instead they have flatbed trucks with benches fitted in which are used to for taking groups around and seem prepared to take multiple groups going to multiple destinations.

We had arrived in Chiang Mai around 6am and, after being kidnapped by the unidentified hotel, got to the Thapae Gate Lodge we had pre-booked at around 7:30am. We were greeted by the German owner who seemed a bit grumpy but we assumed it was due to the early start to the day and that he would perk up. When we left two days later he had not improved and may have got even grumpier. We were lacking in sleep too so collapsed on the bed not to wake until lunch.

We planned to combine our trip to a make-your-own sandwich place with a planned out walking tour of the town. After two hours of walking around the walled town we failed to find the sandwich joint and barely completed any of the tour. Eventually we threw in the towel and opted for a nice looking cafe where I could try out my first of a few Thai Green curries. On the return to the hotel we booked activities for the next two days and left the tour operator with considerably lighter wallets but at least we had been given a discount on our second activity.

In the evening we found an imaginatively name restaurant called Brick and spent the entire meal generating our list of top movie quotes of all time before looking up an official list on the internet later on. I still can’t believe “To infinity and beyond” doesn’t make the Top 100. That night’s entertainment was provided by quite an exciting storm we could watch from the balcony. Despite trying for a solid 15 minutes I failed to take photos of anything but black sky.

In northern Thailand the major attractions are the rainforests, waterfalls and relatively easy mountains to trek around so for our first full day in Chiang Mai we had booked ourselves onto a tour to head into the rainforest. We were up early as we were due to be picked up at 8:30am but actually ended up getting picked up at 8:15am seconds after placing our breakfast order. We were always going to be pushed for time but didn't expect to be doing a runner, with the drinks which had already arrived, much to the confusion of the waiter.

Our tour was made up of an English couple, a Japanese couple and an English girl who had ditched the rest of her family at the hotel as they just fancied sitting round the pool. Our first stop was at a butterfly and orchid farm which gave Linz the opportunity to panic at insects and me the chance to marvel at some butterflies which were so big my brain genuinely thought they we plants at first glance. They were at least the size of an adult hand with wings which looked so thick that the butterfly would struggle to fly. The farm also gave us the opportunity to buy some biscuits for a makeshift breakfast.

A rather substantial butterfly

From the farm we drove for an hour to reach the rainforest where our next activity, and the one we were most excited about, waited for us; elephant riding. However, to get to the elephants, a bridge-less river blocked our path so instead we had to use the locals means of crossing which was a metal cage pulled across a wire suspended over the river. Linz and I went first and were a bit surprised to see a lone elderly local, on the opposite site of the river, would be pulling us across. I worked out how to help him pull us from inside the cage but still felt bad and contemplated that maybe we were picked up early so we couldn’t have breakfast so his job was a little easier. The highlight for me was actually helping the man, who communicated by pointing alone, pull the others over the river as he seemed to very much appreciate it, even more so when the only other male on the trip didn't offer to help. He then directed us up a steep slope, which he physically pulled Linz up, to get to the elephants.



Pulling the Japanese contingent across while the rest of the English men do nothing



In no time we were up on top of our elephant and plodding along jungle pathways occasionally emerging into neighbouring rice fields. After a few minutes I had opted to exchange my position aboard the seat strapped to our elephants back for a position straddling his neck. This was a lot more fun but I hadn’t foreseen how much hair an elephant has which resulted in quite an uncomfortable feeling to begin with. Half way through our meander through the rainforest we were sold a whole bunch of bananas for a couple of pounds which we could feed our elephant, which we imaginatively named “Elephant”, from our position above her head. Every so often a trunk would appear in front of me requesting further bananas. Before leaving the sanctuary where they are kept we got the opportunity to hug Elephant’s trunk as well as enjoy our included Pad Thai lunch.

Plodding along



Elephant requesting yet another banana



Following the elephants, which was easily one of the most enjoyable experiences so far, we were driven to the start of our trek. We walked for an hour or so up to a secluded waterfall where we could have a swim. On the way we had to cross a couple of rivers via the few rocks above the water’s surface and enjoyed a fairly random slingshot practice session. One of the locals who lived in one of the few tiny houses we passed had hung a few plastic bottles from a tree for passersby to enjoy shooting at. I was rather surprised I actually managed to hit them where as Linz couldn’t always be trusted to fire the rocks forwards.

Down the firing range

The waterfall was another of many highlights of the day as we could enjoy the pool at the bottom of them alone as the other group members got out quite quickly and the water was so clean and cool. It started to rain as we got out so we took shelter under a covered bamboo platform that had been built there. Cowering under the shelter was made more entertaining because some idiot managed somehow to fall through the bamboo floor as if stepping on a trapdoor like something out of Looney Toons. Unfortunately I was that idiot. The situation was made worse but not because I had cut my leg slightly but because our overly concerned guide made me to put a plaster on it complete with child-friendly cartoon elephants on it.

Our private swimming pool

The walk back was considerably more precarious as the rain barely let up and our previously dry path was now a flowing stream in places and incredibly slippery mud in others. We managed the walk back reasonably well when compared to the Japanese couple who ended up a good few minutes behind us and the English guy who was wearing the most impractical shoes you could wear and seemed far too concerned with keeping them clean. I however cannot comment on the choice of shoes as for some reason I had forgotten to wear my perfect-for-the-job walking shoes in favour of my barely holding together, Vietnamese-fixed shoes. This trek saw the end of almost all of the repairs made to my shoes by the guys on the street in Hanoi meaning they were in an even worse state compared to when I left England. Next time a man on the street gives me a five-year warrantee on something I’ll think twice.

Following the trek we were thoroughly drenched but it didn't matter as our next activity was white-water rafting which would no doubt result in us getting even wetter. I went into the rafting a little sceptical as I wasn’t convinced a £13 tour which lasted all day and included many other activities was going to be able to compare to the $100+ tours we would no doubt come across in Australia. Despite this, some idiot did manage to somehow fall in during one of the slightly larger rapids. Yes, once again this was me. Linz knew very little about how she ended up on the floor of the boat as when I went in the only thing I could grab was her. Chivalry went out the window almost as fast as I flew out the boat. Unfortunately we were skippered by Captain Buzz-kill whereas the boat carrying the other half of the group had a crazy Thai man who wouldn’t stop spinning the boat and splashing everyone. I released some energy by unleashing a tidal wave from my oar into his face when he threatened to do it to us.

The river we had just rafted down. No photos from on either of the rafts i'm afraid

From the raft we directly transferred onto a bamboo raft which would take us back to the van and then back to Chiang Mai. I had previously ridden a bamboo raft in Guilin but then it had been made of imitation plastic bamboo and came with an engine and seating, however this time it really was a bamboo raft. Other than some lashing it was just bamboo and a stick to push it along with. Linz and the English girl hopped on first causing it to sink almost a foot under the water, but it was when I jumped that it completely sunk. When we had adjusted our positions along the length of the raft we resurfaced and headed off down the river for our planned one hour trip. Disappointingly we were dropped off just five minutes later and soon were heading back to town, but the short time we rafted was very entertaining and we got a couple of souvenir photos to take with us. We finished off one of our best days so far with a trip to a nearby Mexican for dinner. We were pleased to go to the Mexican but our choices were limited due to a massive power cut in the walled section of the town so were forced to venture beyond the walls and moat.

The next morning we were up slightly earlier than the previous day to ensure we could actually eat our breakfast before being picked up for our days activity. We were picked up by a minibus shortly after eating to be taken to Flight of the Gibbon which is a large area of the rainforest with a course of 22 zip-lines and a couple of abseils through the jungle canopy. Having been fitted with stylish helmets and thoroughly constricting harnesses we headed into the jungle. The zip-lines were amazing, some spanning hundreds of metres, and offered unique views of the rainforest from such a high position. We went from platform to platform in trees so high you could feel and see them swaying in the wind. The only slight downside was we seemed to have Captain Buzz-kill’s brother as a guide who remained pretty quiet especially when compared to the other guides who seemed almost maniacal. I found myself questioning how he had earned the nickname “Tiger” from the other guides. Out of all the zip-lines the highlight had to be the leap-of-faith one which caught you as you jumped, initially in freefall, from a rather high tree.

Desperately trying to turn round to prevent yet another backwards landing

Following the four hours spent in the treetops we had a chicken curry lunch and chatted to our group mates. It was here we established that, even with our generous £2 discount, we had been massively overcharged by our tour operator as a Dutch lad in the group had paid almost £20 less than us. This slightly tarnished the day as the experience, although a huge amount of fun, had been our most expensive activity so far on our travels. Before heading back to town we visited another waterfall, included in our ludicrous ticket price, but we couldn’t swim in it and couldn’t be bothered to climb to the top of it as our mood had been killed quite a bit. Despite the negative end to the day we soon got over being conned as we focused on how the day was incredible and we even saw a couple of wild gibbons, but given it was called Flight of the Gibbons this was surely to be expected.

Over the course of the days we spent in Chiang Mai our German hotel owner was getting increasingly grumpier but up until our final evening the worst had been him having a go at me after I politely asked if our laundry was done yet as we were seriously desperate for clean clothes. However, that evening Linz had a relatively innocent request for a new toilet roll for our room as ours had finished. Apparently he felt Linz’s subsequent questioning about why this simple request would take an hour was unjustified, and he definitely didn't seem to work out a need for toilet paper may be a slightly urgent matter.

We were heading out of Chiang Mai that evening so packed ready for our bus back to Bangkok soon after returning from our day out. The trouble was we had no time for dinner so would have no food to take our malaria pills with so I had to run out in the rain to the shop to pick up a dinner for the bus journey. In Phnom Penh we had been talked into buying cheap ponchos which we hadn’t used until now, so I put it on and headed out as it covered all my clothes I would be wearing on the bus which I didn't fancy getting wet. There are few things that make me feel more ridiculous than sprinting along an Asian street in a luminous yellow poncho, which it turns out doesn’t cover all my clothes, at full pace except maybe entering a convenient store in the same outfit and buying a pack of mini hotdogs. I made it back just in time for our taxi to the bus stop to find out the mini hotdogs were uncooked, unlike previous ones we had found, and would be barely edible.

Having made it to the bus terminal we had to wait for the second bus to Bangkok as apparently the one we had pre-booked tickets for was full. The seats on our bus were fairly big and comfortable but I struggled to sleep as, despite being taller than most people in this area of the world, I couldn’t touch the floor so my legs just dangled. This bus was the first to come with an air-hostess style lady who served us food, but sandwiches in green bread isn’t our sort of thing so we opted for a dinner of crisps and M&Ms rather than risk the mini hotdogs. Eleven hours later we arrived back in Bangkok where we would head to the train station to travel immediately onto Kanchanaburi as there were no direct links from Chiang Mai to this town in western Thailand.