Ha Long Bay

We woke early on our final day in Hanoi as we needed to get into the centre of the Old Quarter to meet our tour bus which would take us east to Ha Long Bay. We would have liked to enjoy the free breakfast the hostel offered but as we didn’t have time we just headed straight off. This was a mistake and consequently I am going to have to warn you that this post is about to get quite graphic.

Before leaving the UK Linz and I had to decide which anti-malaria tablets we wished to take over the course of our trip. I opted for the cheaper one hoping that the side effects mentioned on the packet, on the internet and by my doctor were over exaggerated and not really a something to worry about. For you information the main warning regarded what can happen if you take the daily pill on an empty stomach. Within five minutes of taking the pill I was feeling unbelievably nauseous so decided to rapidly shovel down a Kit-Kat hoping it would help. This, to begin with, was a complete success. About fifteen minutes after leaving the hostel, and having been carrying my very heavy bag through early morning Vietnamese heat, we reached the centre of town marked by a very busy roundabout next to the tourist friendly Hoan Kiem Lake. It was at this point the Kit-Kat had worn off and I was feeling considerably worse so I turned to a packet of Chips Ahoy cookies. I made it through two. Seconds later I was being violently sick all over a tree and the pavement right outside the shop of a man who didn’t seem best pleased. With hindsight I should have had breakfast and definitely shouldn’t have tried to cover my mouth with my hands as it merely created a half-digested Kit-Kat fountain through the gaps in my fingers.

Following this, but at least feeling considerably healthier, we had no choice but to board the four hour bus to Ha Long Bay. Having arrived at the port we immediately became aware of how popular the Bay is in Vietnam as it appeared we were one tour group out of about fifty, each with their own boat. An hour later than scheduled we boarded our boat and found our cabin were we would be staying the night as our tour lasted two days. It was very nice and styled with a pleasant old-fashioned decor except for the green plastic bin in the shape of a frog. We set out through the mist towards the karst formation islands that make the bay so spectacular while enjoying lunch with a friendly Australian family.

The fleet of tourist boats in Ha Long Bay

In the afternoon we arrived in a bay which gave us, and the passengers from the other fifty boats, the chance to get off and explore a cave which expanded hundreds of metres into one of the islands. Despite being lit my some fairly garish lighting and us having to be guided around by our guide Nam, it was quite interesting. Highlights included some good views of Ha Long Bay from the mouth of the cave and various rock formations that looked like objects such as a monkey, a crocodile and, despite Nam saying it looked like a pointing finger, a huge penis. This presented an excellent opportunity to make various “rock hard” jokes.

Following the cave we had an hour to paddle around the bay in our own two seated kayak. Despite concerns from Linz that bumping into an island would cause us to immediately sink, we had a good time and returned to the ship very pleased although fairly knackered.

One of many photos of an idiot in a kayak

Later that evening we headed to the main deck for dinner, where we were joined by a particularly nice English couple who were a few years older than us and had been living in Australia for the last four years. Unfortunately our nice conversation was interrupted by Nam coming over and calling Linz and I aside for a private chat. Here he explained that because Linz and I had paid less for the tour, compared to others, we weren’t allowed to sit next to the English couple and instead had to move to sit with the Australian family again. This didn't make sense to us as it appeared that the English couple, who were later joined by a rather bulky an stern looking American man, were given the exact same meal as us suggesting there was no difference between their table and ours. Despite this we had a good dinner as the Australians were very easy to talk to and gave us loads of ideas of things to do when we get there in June.

Our "Amigo Cruise" boat. Not a very local sounding company

After dinner the mood on board became very awkward as all twenty passengers found themselves being highly pressured by Nam to start that evenings main entertainment;  karaoke. After no one volunteered for quite a while a waiter on board took it upon himself to start the singing. A word of advice to anyone reading this, if you are trying to kick start a karaoke night and get an atmosphere going then don’t, under any circumstances, choose to sing Hello by Lionel Richie. Following his highly depressing rendition, Nam once again tried pulling people on stage but it appeared he also misunderstood what people want at a karaoke night as he dragged a rather built looking German guy up on stage and pressed play on Dancing Queen by Abba. After some German protesting the guy eventually sang We Will Rock You by Queen which did at least get a good response from the crowd. Eventually Linz and I had to slip away through fear of being called on next combined with the awkward atmosphere, and having declined joining in with the squid fishing we went to bed.

The following day we were up at 7:45am for breakfast of fruit and eggs which we were allowed to enjoy with the English couple we were banned from eating with the previous night. They had been travelling through China for the last two months and had four years of living in Australia behind them, so talking was easy and we both left breakfast thinking they were our favourite people we had met so far. Although Linz could have done without the stories of Huntsman and Redback spiders they have living in their house.

The second days entertainment included a loosely described cooking class as all it entailed was wrapping premade filling in rice paper to make spring rolls. Having said this I was beaten by what was a fairly basic task as I didn't spot the bowl of beaten eggs we were supposed to dip our rice paper into to help it all stick together. Come the end of the class all but one of the final products resembled a spring roll.

Following a lunch of various dishes including the successfully made spring rolls, we returned to the dock to board the bus back to Hanoi, where we immediately got onto a sleeper bus heading south to the town of Hue. This was our first experience of the sleeper buses we would have to take all over Vietnam.



The sleeper bus which looks more spacious in this photo that it really was



Approximately 40 beds were fitted into the bus laid out in rows of three on two levels, and we had two next to each other on the lower level. The main problem is that, despite me being of a fairly average height in the UK, I got nowhere near fitting in the bed and found myself trying to sleep in a compressed foetal position wedged between the armrests. Other issues with the night bus included me being hit in the arm by the conductor for dropping my pillow, a tv screen inches in front of my face, and the door which I was lying next to breaking and swinging open while going very fast down motorway. But don’t worry a local fixed it with a bath towel.