Great Ocean Road to Melbourne

We were running low on time before the van had to be returned on the 9th July so planned to cover the 600km between Yass and Melbourne in one day. It had been decided around Airlie Beach that I would be the solo driver as I rather enjoyed it and even the seven hour drive into Victoria was quite fun. Unfortunately we could no longer receive Mix FM so had to settle for Star instead and the rather annoying Fifi and Jules show. If you were prepared to put up with their irritating humour they actually played decent music and had some pretty good build up to the final Harry Potter film being released in around a week. The wind from the previous day had subsided meaning a much less nervous drive and soon enough we were close enough to Melbourne to be able to receive the city’s version of Mix.

Once again we could utilise a free camping area provided by a BP garage a couple of kilometres away from the city’s Avalon airport. We decided to put off Melbourne for a couple of days and travel the Great Ocean Road before we had to give back the van, and having got just beyond Melbourne we could have a full day on it tomorrow. The Great Ocean Road is the section of the B100 between the coastal towns of Torquay and Warrnambool made famous for its great views and the Twelve Apostles rock formations.

A typical adult breakfast

We set off from the BP garage early on and passed through the town of Geelong before reaching Torquay and the start of the road marked by a large wooden gateway. The road was great to drive and having already managed a few thousands kilometres in the van I found it was quite easy and a lot of fun. Although I had to keep my concentration up, to prevent us ploughing through a barrier and into the sea, I could still take in the amazing views on what was a fairly clear day. Every so often we would come across lay-bys with particularly nice views or other areas to stop including Split Point Lighthouse. The lighthouse was a classic white tower overlooking a rather choppy bay but the most memorable aspect of our stop here was realising we had stumbled across the lighthouse from “Round the Twist”.

Split Point Lighthouse

As we had just two days on the road our plan was to get as far as Port Campbell, just beyond the Twelve Apostles, on the first day before returning on the second. As the sun was beginning to set we arrived at the Twelve Apostles which are a set of eight limestone stacks created by the erosion of the rocks around them. Obviously we were never going to shell out on a helicopter tour of the Apostles so just went for a walk to the cliff face and several viewing points which have been created.

It was here than we first came across other tourists as coaches of them are dropped off here each day having made the 3-4 hour journey from Melbourne. In the setting sun the rocks looked very impressive and we were pleased to have arrived during a break in the clouds which had started to form. Having spent a good bit of time wandering around the cliff edges we drove a few more kilometres into the town of Port Campbell and stayed in the only campervan park available.

Some of the Apostles

That evening we opted for takeaway fish and chips rather than cooking for ourselves, where I chose the locally caught fish option as opposed to the “special” for the day. I watched them prepare the special for someone else which involved microwaving a pre-battered frozen fish and then charge the customer more than they had charged me. The most interesting aspect of Port Campbell is a large rectangular bay, which was rather choppy given the wind which had picked up, making it resemble a sort of natural wave pool you would find in a leisure centre.

Exploring the jetty in Port Campbell

The following morning we woke up and set off back in the direction we had come having first made a thorough mess of the parks grass due to recent rain. Fairly close to Port Campbell are a few other interesting rock formations including The Grotto, London Bridge, The Arch, Loch and Gorge, and the Blowhole. I won’t go into a detailed description of each of these as, although they were all interesting to see, they were not that dissimilar. London Bridge was formerly two connected arches but erosion caused one to collapse not too long ago causing a few tourists to end up stranded on the further arch.

The one remaining arch following London Bridge's partial collapse



Linz down in The Grotto



Our journey back didn't go to plan as we found ourselves driving for almost forty five minutes inland before either one of us thought to question where the Great Ocean Road’s ocean had gone. Having turned back around we soon found the sea again and were once again passing under the wooden arch marking the start and end point of the road. In a similar situation to when we pulled over in Port Macquarie to get a photo of Linz with the Kennedy Street sign, we pulled over just after the archway to get a photo of Moggs Creek. That evening was again spent at the BP garage and would be our last in the campervan.





There is no doubt in my mind that having the campervan was the best way to explore Australia. There were times when we struggled to find free places to stay or just to park for the day, but being able to set our own pace, cook our own meals and lounge about how we wanted to made for such a more enjoyable experience than if we had stayed in hostels and travelled by coach. There were aspects of the van which were a little annoying such as the sliding door which required a huge amount of force to open, the cupboard which required contortionist levels of flexibility to reach and the windows which opened themselves as we drove, but over time these all became part of van life which we wouldn’t change. Being able to pull over at an amazing view and have some lunch was a great level of freedom we didn't expect and being able to pull off any road just to investigate what was there was fantastic. Although I never got over the creepy vibe you get from the permanent residents of the campervan parks, we both really enjoyed our time in the van and were very pleased that we had it all to do again in New Zealand.

Having left the BP garage, where the van had got a thorough interior cleaning, we drove into Melbourne for the first time. Our first stop was in the suburb of Wheeler’s Hill to see an attraction which I was surprised not to find in our Lonely Planet: my first house. Having found Tanya Place I parked the van outside our old house and went to knock as I felt I should probably ask if I could start taking photos of their house. The lady who answered seemed happy enough to let me take photos and exchange a few stories but then came the catch: “Are you a Christian?” It turns out she’s a door-to-door Christianity salesperson and had a variety of leaflets for me. I was happy to fane interest as she was letting be take photos but the leaflets were soon binned along with all the other leaflets Linz had collected over the last six weeks. It was nice to see the house I spent some of my first three years in as I only remember it from old home videos, so it was a good start to the day.

The old house

As we had spent our last night in the van we had to check into a hostel for a few nights before our plane to New Zealand, so on route to the hire company we stopped at Base in the area called St Kilda. We had previously stayed at Base in Airlie Beach as they had campervan sites so we decided to go with them again especially as it was one of the cheaper options. My one piece of fatherly advice before Melbourne was not to drive through it, however we left base and ploughed straight through the heart of town to the rental office. The reason I had been warned of driving through town was due to the trams they use in Melbourne, many junctions require you to use the left lane to turn right. This made our journey slightly more complicated than it needed to be but we did eventually arrive at the office. This was a brief stop as we needed to fill up with petrol and get the van washed before officially returning it and had to ask where there was a carwash that could handle our van’s height. Even up to the very end we were given issues due to our height. We found a hand car wash round the corner and spent the best part of an hour making it spotless. Part of this time was also spent removing our makeshift roof hole solution which we hoped they wouldn’t notice. Conveniently they didn't notice the hole in the roof, the hose adaptor which had gone missing or the smell of curry power in the cupboard after it had been split as early as Port Douglas.

Giving the van a washdown

Having got a signed receipt that the van was in the condition we received it in, we found ourselves transport-less for the first time since Cairns. We had no choice but to trust our abilities with public transport for our few days in Melbourne so soon enough found ourselves on a tram heading to the town centre. Our abilities failed us rather quickly. I assumed we would get on and the driver would issue us a ticket like riding a bus, but a rather thick sheet of plastic in front of the driver blocked our path. It wasn't until we had almost reached our destination that we finally secured two tickets from the on-board machine, however we later realised we hadn’t got them validated so it was all a waste of time anyway.

Our destination was Flinders Street Station, the centre of town, where we had a quick lunch and then headed to the information centre to find out what we could do in the city. Despite having no car to carry it all around in Linz still didn't hesitate in picking up far too many leaflets including seven different ones describing walking tours of Melbourne. How much walking was she planning on doing? We planned on seeing a comedy night while we were here and the information centre filled us in on a ticket office which did half price tickets so obviously we headed straight there.

Flinder's Street Station behind the city's network of tram wires

Having bought our tickets for later that evening we planned on getting the tram straight back to Base, however we were blocked by some nudists. This isn’t strictly true as they were actually just students filming a documentary about nudism and asked if they could interview us. It was rather entertaining and we left pleased to have done it, although standing in a busy square discussing when I last felt naked wasn't what I expected to be doing on my first day here.

Later that evening, during a weekly Skype home, Clare and Andy from our time in Cairns showed up. This wasn't unexpected as Linz and Clare seemed to speak more regularly on Facebook than Linz and I did in person. We swapped Australia stories for a while before all heading out to the comedy night back in Flinders Street. The night was excellent and involved three or four comedians doing bits which were all hilarious however we did have to put up with a rather tame female comedian who hosted the night. Another tram nightmare meant we overshot our stop by quite a way and had to fork out on a taxi to get us back to Base, but seeing as we could now split things four ways rather than two it wasn't so bad.

That evening we got the taste of hostel life that we hadn’t missed for six weeks, as it was Saturday night and every so often an assortment of drunks would burst in. The next day was a day I had been particularly looking forward to since before we started our journey. Like Linz had always looked forward to playing with tigers and elephant rides, I had always looked forward to going to an Aussie Rules Football match at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground). Once again we could enjoy trip with Clare and Andy, as well as one of their roommates called Lois, and we headed off from Base towards the ground. Given our hit or miss fortunes with the trams we opted for the train and somehow managed to get away with buying some kind of family ticket.

It was cold at the MCG

Although technically AFL is played all over the country the vast majority of teams seem to come from Melbourne and today we were seeing two of them. On the train we saw a few North Melbourne Kangaroos fans but the majority were supporting Collingwood Magpies, which we would be doing as well. We had got confused at one point who was the home team, seeing as they are both from Melbourne, so that morning our allegiances had changed. As we had bought our tickets in advance we separated from the others for the match itself and we found our way to seats directly behind one of the goals. Having spent some time in Asia watching aussie rules I could just about understand what was going on, which was useful as I had to keep filling Linz in as the game went on. I was a little disappointed to see the 100,000 seat stadium wasn't full and that the ground never really got going, but the match was excellent and not short on goals. Collingwood simply dispatched North Melbourne by 147-30 making it the biggest point difference between these two teams ever.

Yet another Collingwood goal

That night we enjoyed one of the best meals we had had so far, as Base were hosting a pie night. For around £3 we each got a steak pie, mash and gravy which was incredible and, although rather filling, ended far too soon. That night was also the British Grand Prix and amazingly I now found myself with other people who liked F1. However, after a lot of effort we had to concede defeat as we couldn’t find a place to watch it, but at least I didn't have to put myself through watching Fernando Alonso win in my own country. Whinging git.

The next day we split from Clare and Andy so we could each explore the city ourselves, and we chose to start with the sightseeing bus for a change. One of the main reasons for doing this was because it was free even though it took in all the major sights and even had commentary. Following on from this we explored Burke Street mall on our way to the Old Gaol used, most famously, to hang the outlaw Ned Kelly. We were talked into watching a re-enactment of his trial in the attached courtroom which proved to be the worst tourist activity we have done on this entire trip. Rather than use actors they had member of the audience play different parts all reading from scripts, so no one knew what they were doing and consequently no one watching had any idea what was going on. We almost walked out like so many of the other audience members did, but we thought it would be harsh on the people playing the parts so stuck it out. We then had the chance to explore the Gaol itself, which is what we went there to do in the first place, but we decided we had already committed too much time to the place so left.

Our entry fee got us little more than this photo

Having passed through Federation Square we crossed over the river and ventured up Eureka Tower for panoramic views of the city. Unlike all previous towers we have been up the Eureka Tower had various telescope set up permanently aimed at various attractions allowing for easier viewing. Having come back down from the tower we had a completely successful tram ride back to Base where we killed some time before that night’s dinner was made available by the hostel. However, tonight was less like dinner as it just free pancakes night. While the girls got involved with the $12 bottles of wine, Andy and I signed up for the table tennis tournament. I lost count in my game but needless to say I was beaten, but it became clear very early on that Andy stood no chance. As soon as your opponent holds his paddle like a Chinese person you know you’re in trouble.

The Eureka Tower...

...also available to cuddle

Later the evenings bingo night started which was kind of entertaining but as it went on, and further wine was drunk, the girls became considerably less interested in their numbers. This was to such an extent that I was even able to lean over Linz and tick off everyone of her numbers except one. I drew her attention to her sheet just after her final number was called out. The DJ, who acted as the bingo caller, was a little confused at how many incorrect numbers she had on her sheet but so was Linz. She did have more success later on though as she exacted revenge on Keith, the guy who schooled Andy at table tennis, in a game of giant Jenga meaning she won a free burger.



Linz taking on Keith


The evening was a lot of fun and we chatted for ages but then Danny Internet showed up. He wasn't actually named this but he had an unblocked wifi router in Clare and Andy’s room and was inadvertently giving the entire first floor free internet. Danny was a street busker who had come over from New Zealand who had a few interesting stories but then, after the other two had gone on a McDonalds run, continued to talk to us about exchange rates and New Zealand politics thoroughly killing our buzz. On our way to bed a lot of things all happened at once: Danny start busking in the corridor, a guy called Mike started shouting our names for no reason out of his door, and a transvestite shouted at us. Apparently it was our fault these other people were being overly loud so we called an end to the night and returned to our room. While this was all going on people from our room had also told us off despite being the same drunkards who had stumbled in on our first night.

The next day was a rather fragile day for Linz and Clare, made even worse for Clare as she and Andy had to be in town at 10am to pick up a hire car. However this worked in our favour as they offered to take us in their new car to Ramsey Street where Neighbours is filmed. I say this worked in our favour but in reality I have no idea what’s going on in Neighbours and was disappointed to find out we wouldn’t run into Kylie Minogue. Our journey there was a nice surprise as I hadn’t been in a passenger seat for a while and had completely forgotten what it was like to drive around in a car which didn't make as much noise as the campervan. Ramsey Street it turns out is called Pin Oak Crescent but apparently looks just like it does in the show, so the girls busied themselves positioning themselves in front of every house while Andy and I took photos. Linz was excited but this was nothing compared to Clare who it seemed had found the perfect hangover cure.

Apparently this is one of the houses from Neighbours

On their way out of town towards the Great Ocean Road, we were dropped off near Queen Victoria Market which we would explore for the rest of the morning. Although they were returning to Melbourne, we would have flown to New Zealand by then so we said our goodbyes but seeing as they would be flying into Christchurch a week later we would no doubt meet up with them again.

Queen Victoria market was massive and we wandered round its stalls for around an hour. Despite this we didn't even see the entire place as we didn't explore the entire fruit, vegetables and meat area. Unsurprisingly the market was filled with all the classic Australian souvenirs like boomerangs, fake Ugg boats and various kangaroo skin items, but also had a decent amount of other things so it was easily worth the trip.

Just a small part of the market

That evening was the much anticipated Burger Night back at Base but it could never match up to Pie Night. The burger was fine and the wedges it came with were alright but our hopes had been based on the best pie and mash ever, so it never really stood a chance. Our flight to New Zealand was the next morning so we relaxed for the rest of the night and managed to get a good amount of sleep before being up at 7am for our airport shuttle bus. Our flight to New Zealand was with Jetstar meaning we were delayed and then uncomfortable but we didn't expect anymore.

Passed out at the gate

So after almost six weeks we were at the end of our Australian chapter of the journey which had seen us cover 6,239.9km in the campervan, cross four states, visit twenty-one towns and cities and tick off another wonder of the world. There is no way I could compare this leg of the journey to our time in Asia as it has been completely different, but in its own way just as good. From landing in Cairns we immediately were met by a people who just want to enjoy their lives and make people laugh along the way. There is so much to do in this country that I didn't consider the people who live here when planning back home, but it is these people who make it even better. Driving was the best way we could have seen the east coast as we saw such a change in landscape as we went while being able to take in even the smaller towns on the way. Queensland’s spaced out countryside made for my favourite state as driving through it was fantastic and towns like Noosa and Port Douglas genuinely rivalled the big cities. While in Australia we’ve been in the heart of rainforests one day and on the pristine beaches of the Whitsundays the next before finding ourselves in the bustling city life of Sydney. The one thing it would have been nice to do would be explore the famous outback, but given just how much we enjoyed our time here there’s no doubt we will be back, so it will have to wait, but for now...G’day!